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The End of Marriage As I Knew It  

GotKT 62M
8 posts
8/8/2015 5:15 pm
The End of Marriage As I Knew It

To say I was a sexual novice when I joined AAF is an understatement. I lost my virginity to a in Amsterdam when I was 25. I was a bit of a geek in high school. I was not uncomfortable with girls, and I did not know how to flirt. Throughout my youth I had girls who were friends, but was never able to get beyond the “friendship zone”. In college this became debilitating and I passed over some good women because of an infatuation with a certain lady friend. Over the next ten years I briefly experienced several other women before getting married to a women that is 12 years my senior.
Sex in marriage was intermittent at best (zero to three times a month) and always a one act show. About nine years into the marriage, she began accusing me of sleeping with other women that we knew. This hurt and was the source of many arguments. She kicked me out twice, but within a couple of months I was spending most of my time with her at our house and eventually moved back in. I continued to be faithful even during the time we were apart. After the second time she kicked me out and I returned, things went well for the next five years. But she turned 65 last year and seemed to become increasing unhappy with the life we had. It probably didn’t help that I was very busy at work while she was ready for the retired life. Then last November, the wild accusations returned.
She stopped all forms of intimate contact and although we did some enjoyable things together, most of our time together was unpleasant. On New Year’s Eve, she told me that wanted to separate and that I should probably find somewhere else to live. This was different from the previous times because this time, I also wanted out and I made it clear that once I move out, I’m not coming back.
I needed a house with a garage so I could work on my car and I wanted to stay in town to be close to my mechanic (I think I’m putting his through college). Fortunately, this was not a financial burden, although I’ll probably have to work a few years longer than I planned to support my track hobby. So after looking for about a month, I found a 3 bedroom house with a three card garage. I signed a one year lease on our 19th wedding anniversary and moved out for good on Valentine Day 2015.
I don’t regret my marriage at all. We had some good times, especially when we traveled together. We also worked well as a team to build up a comfortable financial situation together. We are still on good terms, perhaps even better than when we were living together. But I go into more detail about that in a future post.

Enjoy life and never be afraid to try new things

nightsoul1962 61F
17828 posts
8/8/2015 9:59 pm

Sometime we're better at being friends than being lovers, although a just lovers relationship will not last unless you're also first and foremost friends .
Enjoy what is left between the two of you, and get on with your life, and perhaps the right companion will come along!


GotKT replies on 8/9/2015 10:13 am:
The just lovers relationship is all part of the journey.

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